So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize
