I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
