good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
