She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize