Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
