You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Randomize
