Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
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