Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
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