If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
