we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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