so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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