yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
