Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
