I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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