You're my little dorito
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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