I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
So squirting runs in the family.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
