so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Randomize
