We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
