Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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