oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
