Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
