hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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