I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
