I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
