I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
