Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
