I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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