I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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