I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I will pee on everything he values.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
