Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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