I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
