My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
