I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
