you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Randomize