I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
