Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
