there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize