just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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