Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I would fuck him just for his dog
Randomize
