I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
