I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
