Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
