heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
