i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
