I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
YAS. BRING CRAB.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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