You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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