Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
