..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize