There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
