There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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