The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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