are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
