one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Randomize