he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Randomize
