well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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