Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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