I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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