i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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