We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Randomize
