do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
