Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
