Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
