My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
